My Mom's Life-Saving Organ Transplant Never Came.

On May 5th, 2019, exactly one week before Mother's Day, my mom left the pain and suffering of this world behind and met Jesus. She was waiting on an organ transplant that, devastatingly, never came.

My Mom was the definition of a fighter. Although she was only 5”1”, with a tiny petite frame, she had the strength (and appetite) of 1,000 men.

Thirty two years ago my Mom and Dad stood hand-in-hand as a doctor told my mom, “You have primary biliary cholangitis. It has no cure and without a liver transplant, your life expectancy is 7-10 years.” They never told me and my brother what happened that day. We didn’t find out until we were much older and even then, she protected us from the reality of what her condition meant. She would continue to protect me in that way my entire life.

She not only lived 3x’s as long as was “medically possible”, she thrived in her own way. At 52 years old, she decided to go back to college. She wanted to counsel children who faced the same hardships she faced as a child. After working as a therapist for a few years, she realized it wasn't enough to care for their mental health, she also wanted to support their physical health. She went back to school again and obtained not one, but two more college degrees. Just one month before she passed away, she finished up her Bachelor of Science in nursing degree. She even tried to sit for her state license while at her sickest. A fierce warrior she was.

At work with one of her coworkers and dear friend.

I've heard so many women say, "my mom is my best friend". My mom was not my best friend, she was my Dad’s. They loved each other unconditionally for 43 years, 2 months and 21 days. Of course he loves her still and always will. The day she passed, he brought in 4 huge bags of things my Mom had asked for. We had to take them home, unopened, the following day. It was gut-wrenching.

They had a love that was made for story-books. Through sickness and health, they honored all of their vows. Watching my Dad say goodbye to her was, and will always be, the most heartbreaking day of my life. But he kept that promise to love her forever that he made just days after meeting her.

My mom and I were polar opposites. Her and my brother were just alike.

She was incredibly brilliant & loved nothing more than learning, I hated school.

She was very private, I oftentimes share too much.

She liked peace and quiet, I’ve always been loud and hyper.

Because we were so different, we sometimes disagreed. But she loved and protected me like no other. She was my anchor.

"What I am trying to figure out is, how do I sail back out into this big world without my anchor? What if I get swept away?

Who do I call when my anxiety takes over? When one of the kids gets hurt? When I am unsure what my blood work results mean?

She held my hand through my cancer battle, through blood transfusions after our last baby was born, through 38 years of life. How could I ever face another pregnancy, tragedy or victory without her here to anchor me?"

One day I’ll catch my breath and have the strength to share my mom’s ENTIRE life story - it is truly something that movies are made of. But for now, I want to share what took her from us and what we plan to do in her honor.

The only cure for my mom’s condition was a liver transplant. A live organ transplant was not an option. She needed an entire healthy liver after all of the damage her condition caused over the years. After countless months of facing death, she was finally put on the transplant list less than two weeks ago. We had so much HOPE she would receive a transplant. Our entire family finally caught our breath that day we were told "She is ON THE LIST!", only to have it taken away again just a few weeks later. Daily we did the math, "Surely with so many donors, we will receive one any minute now!". Only after we lost her would we really understand the lack of organ donors and all of the other variables. We sadly learned that every single person waiting ends up very close to death before receiving a transplant. This has to change.

I never even entertained the idea of her not surviving, to me she seemed invincible. The day before we lost her, a major complication of not receiving a transplant caused us to experience what will forever be the most traumatic and devastating 24 hours of our lives.

Her fellow nurses and the doctors at Piedmont fought with everything they had to save her. It was both soul-crushing and inspiring to watch. I can’t and won’t share the intimate/devastating moments of my Mom’s last 24 hours on earth, but I can tell you, the nurses were there to hold us through it all. Just as my mom did as a nurse.

My Dad, Brother and I now know more about the transplant world than we ever imagined we would. In the coming months we will be launching a foundation to honor my Mom and ensure that more people sign up to be organ donors. We won’t stop until we know that lives were saved in her honor. More to come on that, when the time is right. For now, we have a memorial to plan and broken hearts to mend.

If I’ve realized one thing this week, it’s that you never feel like you told your loved ones you love them enough. Even if you do it 10x a day, when they are gone, you'll wish it had been 20x.

As I head back out out into this big scary world without my Mom, I pray I'll have HER strength to get me through the difficult days, weeks & months ahead. I pray she will guide me from above as I raise my babies. And I thank God for the 38 years, 11 months and 18 days I had my mom, my anchor.

With love and gratitude,

Tiffany Krumins

For any friends and family - In lieu of flowers, please give to this GoFundMe. My Dad will use the funds for her arrangements and anything left over will be used to start the foundation.

https://www.gofundme.com/transplant-medical-support-patricia-dunsha